This year I have been swamped with stress and frusteration and even some stray feelings of doubt and I admit a little self pity. Yet there have also been moments of sincere gratitude and thankfulness for where we are. We have been so blessed this year with some very special people who are helping us provide Christmas for our kids... and helping us survive. We are surrounded by fabulous friends and family who truly care and are the most giving people. I truly am so appreciative of all of the thoughtfulness and love that has come to our family this season, so if you read this and you know who you are THANK YOU!
Now having said this, I will admit to feeling that touch of self pity at needing to be on the receiving end again. It was during one of these moments while I was driving, close to tears and feeling sad and frusterated at our situation that I turned on the Christmas radio station to try and shake off the feelings of 'poor me' and find the spirit of Christmas... only to come in on the verse of 'O little Town of Bethlehem' that says 'where meek souls will receive Him still, the dear Christ enters in." At that moment the word RECEIVE jumped out at me and I had a whole new thought process started. I realized that I was not very good at receiving and it is something I really need to learn so that I can truly have the spirit with me. We all want to be on the giving end and doing things for others, I think that comes naturally -( at least it does to those surrounding me and those that have been my examples) but it is much harder to receive and do so with a meek heart, willing to let our Savior in, through the love and service of others. Of course there is also the fact that for others to give there also has to be someone to receive. :)
So my big epiphany was that for now I need to learn to be a meek soul, able to receive and just revel in the feeling of gratitude for the willingness of others to share so lovingly with us. By doing this, I will be allowing the spirit of Christ to enter my heart and therefore have the spirit of Christmas.
I am so grateful for my dear friends and family and I am ever so grateful for my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know he lives and loves me and you, and I love Him. He came as a babe in lowly circumstances and proceeded to live an exemplary life for all of us to follow Him. I am thankful for a season to celebrate His birth and life. To focus on who really matters. I am thankful that he loves me enough to give me insights into myself and helps me see the things that I need to work on in order to be worthy of His presence.
2 comments:
You write so beautifully--thank you so much. As always, you have truly touched my heart.
For years when I was a single mom, so often there were many who came to our rescue. I could hardly wait until I could be giving to others--and I have loved whenever I have been able to help others.
Perfect. And so true. Love ya.
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