Have you ever wondered why when you think you are at your breaking point, one more thing just has to go wrong? Is it because you think you can't take anymore? Or is it because you are just waitng for one more thing to happen - the proverbial straw that broke the camels back? I don't know... but I do know that I am mad and frusterated and tired!
First things are agonizingly slow at the restaurant -"the recreational loll", therefore absolutely no $ and lot's of bills to pay and rent for both places etc....sick kids... then of course the added stress of a pregnant dog that we did not plan on and tried as hard as we could to prevent... promises made to kids that because of finances we most likely may not beable to keep - like going hunting... and while I am thinking... okay we will get through this - somehow... the car breaks down! ARGH! That is when I just want to throw up my arms and yell "Okay, I give up! You win! I can't take anymore!" "Stop the Ride... I want to get off!"
But of course than I think who would I be yelling that too? I am sure that my 'giving up' and admitting defeat is not what my Heavenly Father wants for me... so who is winning? Why is it so hard to feel hopeful and positive? I have watched 'The Secret", I have read the self help books about how staying positive and thinking good thoughts are imperative to good things happening, but honestly, how do you do that when it feels like your world is coming crashing down around you?
I wish I really knew! I 'know' all of the answers to that question... I just wish I really knew. That is the peace that I am seraching for and need desperately to find, the kind that let's me truly know and believe that "all these things shall be but for a small moment - shall give me experience and be for my good"
I definately have my work cut out for me, but I know if I really seek for the spirit of the Lord to always be within me that I can have that peace no matter what, that I can even learn to be thankful for these trials and learn to 'love it... come what may'.
For that alone today I am thankful... for as long as I have that small light at the end of the tunnel (my testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ) I have something to cling too and walk towards in the hopes of building something bigger and brighter within myself and those around me.
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5 comments:
Some days it really does feel like "will this ever end"--but you definitely have the right attitude. We need to always look for that light at the end of the tunnel.
Hang in there, my friend.
Hi Sheri,
I don't know if you remember me from High School/ College, (Mary Lynne Rees Richardson)...anyhoo, I found your blog through Kelli's, (I read hers pretty regularly, although she probably doesn't know because I never make comments!!)
First of all I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your honesty and candor in your blogs. Sometimes I have read people's blogs, and wondered what I'm doing wrong because my life doesn't seem as perfect as their life. I literally have felt bad and almost cried a few times--pathetic sounding I know! I sincerely believe though that everyone's life is rough in lots of ways. I had a rough day today--not as rough as yours. I only have two kids, and we're not going through any of the other trials that you are going through. I think sometimes I make things worse in my own mind...the chaos of motherhood is rough for me..the no control over anything, never getting anything done feeling!
Anyway, I'm rambling, but I wanted you to know that I appreciate reading your real thoughts, and your real struggles. They put mine in perspective. I hope you guys are able to make your restaurant a success, and that the Spirit of the Lord will lift you up and sustain you during these difficult times. I'm sure you're a great Mom, and even if you have to say No to your kids on some of the things that you thought you would be able to give them, if you just love them and tell them honestly where you are at, I'm sure they will understand deep down.
You can make it Girl!!
If you weren't brave you wouldn't have started this adventure in the first place. How lucky Greg is to have a wife who is letting him give his dream a shot. Keep showing your love and faith in him. You are brave.
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." - Mark Twain
You can do this. Love you.
My friend. Life certainly sucks at times. I am amazed when I think about how in the pre-existence we cheered when we were going to be able to come here! I think I was a huge pratt! I appreciate you sharing your trials because it makes me realize that I am not alone. I hope you continue to write so that you will be able to look back and see what you have learned so that you will know that these things did work for your good. Keep the Faith!
Put every other self-help book away except for your scriptures. They are the only help that will carry you through every tough time.
When my life was crazy like this, I used to think - well, people don't live forever. I just have to keep on going until I die and then it will be over. Until then, try to keep a smile on and find a few good things you have going for you. Like: Your husband comes home every night, you have a loving extended family who is close to you, no one is terminally ill, etc... I know these things sound silly but sometimes it's what it takes to pull you through.
You'll get through it and laugh about it one day.
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