When do I learn?

My dad gave me some good counsel which included to keep blogging and read it often because many times Heavenly Father has given me the answers I seek before and I just need to go back and find them and realize they are still true!
When I printed my blog book, I read through some of them and thought oh my heck... when do I ever learn the lesson? I repeat myself way to often and don't seem to ever internalize the message. I find myself so frustrated wit life and myself and circumstances that I find myself in, yet I never learn the lesson and therefore am stuck! I guess the problem is not enough true desire to change or not enough faith to act.
I find myself at yet another crossroads - looking for something to click enough to trust and act upon - yet still I stand at the fork in the road unsure of where to go or what to do. It is so much harder when there are 6 other lives effected by choices made.
Our lease with the restaurant comes to an end soon and we need to decide on going forward or moving on or ending it all together, then there is also the choice to be made with purchasing our house or not and all my kids are on the verge of milestones in their lives - graduation, mission, high school etc. And with all of this I of course am not sleeping, because that is when the wheels really start spinning. I am so confused - I have felt times of feeling like I know what we need to do and then it feels like something gets in the way and I go back to questioning whether or not I actually am receiving inspiration at all or if I am just living in my head. I know the answer to this on an intellectual level...


It is just hard for me to trust in it working out. It always seems like everything has to be a struggle and for some unknown reason I keep thinking things are bound to get easier- if I am on the right path it is all going to go smoothly.That is what I wish for anyway! I know it isn't how it always works out or ever in my case, I  just want to know with a surety that the decisions we make are the ones the Lord wants us to make and what will be in the best interest of our family. How do I get that knowledge or is that just part of the journey the leaping without seeing theory? I don't know...