I seriously cannot believe that it is the end of July! I swear my life is just passing by in a blur!
I have been in somewhat of a thinking state lately (as opposed to the fly by the seat of my pants state that I have lived most of my life in!) Some of the thoughts have not been happy ones and then others have been very hopeful. I am a little bit of a worrier by inheritance! (Anyone know my mom and grandma's?) So lately I have been worrying about how I would be able to take care of my family if something happened to Greg... (this last year has shown me that I cannot do it with my current profession, because I am working as much as I can handle and it is not paying the bills!) I know this may seem silly to think about... but in all honesty when I see my husband quite literally working himself into the ground, it is something to consider. Then of course high on my list of things to worry about are my children - each for different reasons, but the main one I keep thinking is "I hope I haven't ruined them permanently!" Next on my list is to worry about where we are going to live - the house we are renting is for sale and I have been told they have had an offer - so we need to move, but I have no idea where as we can't afford anything here, yet we both work up here and the kids want to stay in school here. What to do?! So yes, there have been many days that I quite literally feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and want to sit in a corner and cry - but crying just gives me a really bad headache, so what's the point?
Then there are the moments of feeling the Lord calming his child while the storm rages, when I feel hopeful that good things are to come. Moments like seeing Due West performing out back of our little restaurant with a great crowd cheering them on, moments of appreciating the beauty around me, moments of listening to children laughing, early morning or late night talks with my daughters - (they after all are the only one's who still want to share their daily findings with me!!) and the rare times that I am able to spend with Greg. Those are the things that motivate me to stay out of the corner and to fight another day.
I am ever thankful to have been blessed with a sense of humor, to be able to laugh when I would rather cry and to find something to smile at when I feel like it is all crashing down around me. Sometimes my humor is a little too sarcastic... but it helps me to see the funny side of my crazy life.
I have no idea what I am being prepared for - I just hope I can find more to be optimistic about and start really seeing my cup half full instead of half empty with a leak!!