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Do you ever feel like you are drowning? Drowning in self pity or self blame or self loathing... drowning in responsibilities, problems, stress... drowning in questions, anger, frustration, discouragement... drowning in shoulda-coulda-woulda's?
I am kind of there right now... literally feeling like I am about to go under and not sure if I'll make it back up. I know it wounds over dramatic... but it's the only way to describe it that I can think of at the moment.
I say I am kinda there... because I am not quite there! I do have a hold of a life line that includes my testimony of a loving Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ, I know they will not let me stay under and don't even want me close to it in the first place...and my family who I turn too for strength and advice. I know they are there for me too, so yes, I know I am blessed to have those life lines... they will and do keep me afloat. I guess my problem is that I no longer just want to stay afloat. I am tired of just holding on and I have a bad attitude and don't want to look for the lessons I am supposed to be learning. I just want it all to go away for a long while. I want to have security and a life of ease.... does that really exist for anyone? Probably not, everyone has their own trials and I know I don't want a lot of them that are out there... I just don't want mine anymore either. How pathetic this all sounds... but I will whine for tonight and hopefully get up with a better attitude tomorrow...g'night.
6 comments:
Security and a life of ease would be lovely, but I think all we can do is have faith. I think we have to recognize we have hope and have it--I think a very wise and wonderful person told me that in a post I wrote a week ago on hope.
I know there were so many talks at our last General Conference that i have re-read that have given me added strength when I have needed it.
Hang in there, sheri. Remember that God is mindful of you and your family.
Ok. School is back in and you and I need to do lunch. What day would be good for you? I know you are incredibly busy but you need a listening ear and I need some girl time!
I have a guest room here in Colorado. Need a short vacay? I'd love to have you.
Yvonne: I told you that you would need to remind me of those words of wisdom!! Thanks!!
Kelli: I usually don't work Wed. does that work for you?
Bethany: sooooo tempting!
Sheri - if you head to Colorado, I'll tag along!
Wednesdays are great. How about not this week but next. I think it is the 7th? How about that day?
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