Led by my little one's!

I've always heard that you learn more from those you teach than they learn from you... and that we shall be led by our little one's... everyday, for me, those sentiments become more true!

Sometimes realizing that the things that frusterate me the most about my children, are the not so great habits or character traits that they have picked up from me and than multiplied, is not the easiest pill to swallow! I wish I could balme it all on their Dad or that, that is just the way they came, but unfortunately, there are days that I can see it all to clearly! They are intensified versions of me! I am after all the one person they spend the most time with... who else would they be learning them from.

You may wonder what brought on all this 'heavy' thinking? Well in truth, I have been wondering, out loud, about my son and why he is so negative and of the mind set that not only is the cup half full, but it has a leak! My dad basically said to look in the mirror for my answer! Now I have to say that at first I was thinking 'What? I am so not like that!' After all, I know the me that I am inside, and she is happy, spunky and loves life! Unfortunately I realized that my kids don't know that me! They only know the me that is all too often tired, onery and unhappy with the course my life has taken... (yes, I know I have chosen that course.... but that is another blog for another time!) in fact, I am not even sure that my husband knows the 'former' me, although I suppose he has some inkling, as I doubt he would have married the new and unimproved me!!

Sooo after all of this intospection and because I truly desire for me and my family to be joyful, I decided that I need to make the changes that I keep preaching about to my son and that only through example will he truly learn the lesson, after all that is how he learned the wrong lesson! Everyday I repeat to him, "choose your attitude" and so that is what I am doing! I am choosing to be hopeful and happy! I am choosing to see the funny things in daily life. Do I do this everytime? No, but I am working on it!

I have two very helpful little girls to keep me on track! The other day I was so upset with the kids for not helping me get the house clean. My oldest daughter asked me, "Mom, how do you feel?" I told her that I was mad, to which she replied " I know, but how do you feel in your heart?" That has atayed with me since... Am I being as obvious in letting them know how much I love them and how they mean more than anything in the world to me, as I often am with how upset I am or disappointed? So much wisdom from a 4 year old!

I also get asked by my youngest daughter on what seems like an hourly basis... "Your my mom?" " You love me?" I always reply "Yes, I am your mom and I love you!" She especially applies this when I am angry about something... yesterday, she spilled milk all over and I do mean all over, my newly cleaned floor... when I came upstairs and saw the mess I was less than thrilled, and just said "Breeeee" she looked at me and said with a look of consternation "Mom, you're my mom, you love me!" I guess to her that means that I should never get mad at her... and she is probably right!! No use crying over spilt milk right?! A friend later pointed out that day that I should be grateful that all of the chairs were still in the other room, so they didn't get milk on them! How true!

My goal is to just take a deep breath and take a quick second to think before I speak! So much hurt and miscommunication can be avoided if I can just put this into practice! I can and will choose my attitude and choose to unleash the positive, happy, joyful person I know I am inside!!